Boston: A Visiting Chemist's Guide

Welcome to Boston!  You've landed at Logan International Airport, checked into your hotel, and are eagerly awaiting the talks to start at the 250th National Meeting of the American Chemical Society.  We've put together a handy list of some basic Do's and Dont's while visiting this beautiful city.

Do

• See how many family pictures you can photobomb in front of MIT or Harvard.  Boston locals keep a tally, and some even go as far as tagging themselves when these gems later inevitably appear on Facebook.
• Wear a pea coat.  The thick wool will keep you insulated from the icy August weather, and Bostonians find them quite fashionable.  Remember, it could begin snowing at literally any time.
• Rent a car.  Feel free to drive around the city as much as you'd like.  Locals will especially appreciate this, as most do not know how to drive and will take kindly to learning by your example.
• Go to brunch in the South End.  This is not to be confused with South Boston or "Southie."  The former offers a broad assortment of bourgeois dining options;  the latter has an unsettlingly large number of public storage units.
• Order an "Irish Car-Bomb" at any of the Irish Pubs in Boston.  Many of these establishments have employees of Irish descent who will appreciate your homage to their nation's history.

Don't

• Take a picture with the Benjamin Franklin lookalike at the Union Oyster House.  There are, like, six of them that rotate around.  And they try to charge you afterward.
• Go to the top of the hub.  In Boston, there are plenty of places to get belligerently drunk that are not suspended 1000 feet in the air. 
• Pahk your cahh in Havaahhdd Yahhd.
• Use Uber.  Despite the convenience of this car service, angry mobs of taxis drivers have been known to descend upon unsuspecting Uber patrons.
• Go to Allston.  Just don't.