Monday, December 1, 2014

Trendy Biotech Startup Boldly Replaces "O" In Name With Stylized Hexagon

Cambridge, MA

In a move investors analysts alike are calling "groundbreaking," Mike Schneider, PhD., President and CEO of Boston-area biotechnology startup iBiosciences announced this morning that the company logo will substitute a stylized hexagon in place of the "o" in "Biosciences."

Dr. Schneider -- who legitimately believes he is the first person to have thought of using cyclohexane in place of the letter "o" -- stated his excitement at the company's inaugural press release.  "I'm just thrilled to be working with such as great group of people.  With over $200 million in venture backing, and a fantastic staff of top-notch biologists, medicinal chemists, and molecular modelers we are poised to make a huge impact on novel autoimmune therapeutics.  Plus, it's really great that the graphic designer we hired liked my idea to spice up the company logo."

Theresa Thompson, a graphic design student at Boston University's College of Fine Arts, was recruited as an intern by the company to create the logo.  "They're only giving me $150 to complete the design...  One-hundred-and-fifty bucks.  And he [Schneider] said  he'd even 'let' me 'put it in my portfolio.'  He was so happy with himself when he asked me to add this dumb looking hexagon thing to the design."  Thompson continued, "what does he think this is, the nineties?"

As of press time, a look of subtle incredulity was creeping over Schneider's face as he came to the realization that the Budweiser logo was eerily reminiscent of chair-conformer cyclohexane.

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