Friday, August 1, 2014

Spectroscopists Admit Nuclear Overhauser Effect "Not A Real Thing"

Livermore, CA

Scientists at the Center for Nuclear Magnetic Resonance Spectroscopy (CNMRS) at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory held a press conference yesterday to concede that the nuclear Overhauser effect, a central tenet of NMR spectroscopy, was a complete fabrication.

"Thank you for gathering here today," began CNMRS chairman Ben Hunt, PhD., "This has gone on long enough, and it's really starting to get out of hand."

"Look, it kinda started as an in-joke between the theoretical guys over at Varian back in the 60's.  The fact of the matter is, the nuclear Overhauser effect is not a real thing.  I mean, 'Overhauser?'  Really?  No one would ever be named that."

"Honestly?  One of the junior technicians thought we were being serious, so we just kinda rolled with it.  We really have no idea how through-space coupling works."

Dr. Hunt continued to explain the origins of the many experimental acronyms used in two-dimensional NMR spectroscopy.  "NOESY?  Come on guys, we thought that was a dead giveaway.  Then it turned into something of a competition over who could create the most ridiculous acronym.  How could a spectroscopic method referred to as 'CAMELSPIN' ever be a serious scientific procedure?"

Hunt finished by once again apologizing for the deception, saying, "Once everyone was on board, it has already gained too much momentum to fess up."  He then added, "Plus, don't even get me started on 'electron paramagnetic resonance,' am I right?"

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