Thursday, July 17, 2014

Area PI Begrudgingly Orders New PPE For Lab Members

Lawrence, KS

Reports indicate that University of Kansas Professor David Richardson is livid with the university trustees' decision to more aggressively enforce laboratory safety regulations.  "What's the deal with all these administrators talking about 'safety culture' this, and 'compliance' that?"

"I mean, really," Richardson continued, "I'm just getting fed up with all this goddamn safety bullshit."

The tenured professor, department chair, and principal investigator of his inorganic chemistry research group then proceeded to go on an obscenity-laden tirade decrying the end of the bygone era in which "a scientist could just do his job without EH&S constantly up his ass."

Richardson, who has not physically set foot inside his own laboratory in 57 days, nor personally educated a single incoming researcher in good lab practices in years, added "My post-doc should be taking care of that!  And what's this about 'egress routes'?"

When reached for comment, Melissa Ehrmantraut, administrative coordinator for KU's department of environmental, health, and safety stated, "We have a deep and unwavering commitment to the safety of our staff, faculty, and students; however," she added, "We will most likely roll over if too many of our tenured faculty make a deal of it."

As of press time, Professor Richardson had begrudgingly ordered Nomex fire-retardant lab coats for all seven of his group members, whom he bitterly referred to as "ungrateful yuppie bastards."

1 comment:

  1. My favorite so far. "I'm just getting fed up with all this goddamn safety bullshit."