Monday, July 21, 2014

Graduate Student At Party Laughing Too Hard To Finish Terrible Chemistry Joke

Irvine, CA

A night of jubilant celebration ended in tragedy when University of California, Irvine physical chemistry graduate student David Nguyen became unable to finish the admittedly awful chemistry joke he had begun to tell.  Sources at the party in question indicated that at approximately 12:32 AM, Nguyen, who had previously consumed upwards of two cans of Natural Lite, called on partygoers' attention and began, "So, Heisenberg and Schrodinger are driving along in a c -- kmmfff heh heh."  His interjected laughter, brought on by prematurely imagining the punchline, was disastrously compounded by the fact that, of those listening in, only 16% were even cursorily familiar with Erwin Schrodinger or Werner Heisenberg.

But Nguyen continued on, apparently undeterred, "...and the cop says, 'you two were going -- chhmmfff hah hah -- were going over 100 miles per hour!'"

"Have you ever seen the Walking Dead?" attendee Jon Fitzgerald, a junior marketing analyst at a nearby business began.  "I swear, listening to him tell that joke was like watching a zombie getting blown to pieces but nonetheless mindlessly trudging forward."

"It was almost tragic," he added.

Sources indicate that Nguyen would eventually finish the joke; however, in the process of doing so would butcher the intended punchline "Well great, he is NOW!" in front of the two remaining listeners.

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