Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Delirious Second Year Graduate Student Certain She Saw Jesus In 1H-NMR Spectrum

Pasadena, CA

California Institute of Technology graduate student Jennifer McGovern, 24, stated emphatically that she saw the face of Jesus of Nazareth late Monday night in a proton NMR spectrum she had acquired, sources say.  The divine face of Christ apparently showed itself to Ms. McGovern amongst the numerous diastereotopic olefinic signals in the spectrum of a complex natural product precursor she had been working on.  "I swear on my life," stated the sleep deprived researcher when reached for comment, "he was right there; clear as day."

According to Jonathan Murphy, PhD., one of Jennifer's colleagues, and post-doctoral researcher in her group, spectral hallucinations are par for the course in the lab.  "Just last month Mike was certain he saw the outstretched hand of the Virgin Mary in a gas-chromatograph," he said.  "The stress of seventy-plus-hour weeks, coupled with sleep deprivation, exams, and theoretically lethal levels of caffeine consumption has really caused some of the group members to lose it."  "By the way, Mike," he added, "I need another 25 grams of that diol precursor you made for me last month.  Tomorrow would be great."

At press time, McGovern was reportedly hunched over into the fetal position at her desk, fervently and repeatedly reciting the Hail Mary.

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